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UNITED STATES OP AMERICA. 



A Happy Life 



BY Y 

MARY DAVIES STEELE 



'Expectant, grateful, ant) screnelg acquiescent' 




DAYTON, OHIO 

United Brethren Publishing House 
1895 



yjifi^ 









Copyright, 1895, 

By Mart Davies Steele. 

All rights reserved. 



TO THE MEMORY 
OF 

Hubert W. gtals, 

BELOVED FATHER, WISEST TEACHER, AND CLOSEST 

FRIEND, 

THIS ESSAY IS GRATEFULLY AND 

AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED. 



A HAPPY LIFE. 



" Laugh if you are wise; be 
contented if it kills you," is the 
advice of both an ancient phi- 
losopher and a modern author. 
Gaiety of heart, smiling cheer- 
fulness, a keen sense of the ridic- 
ulous, combined with the abil- 
ity to take good-naturedly a joke 
on one's self, — things which do 
not always go together, — are 
priceless possessions. 

A woman who was as sunny- 
tempered as she was absent- 
minded and eccentric used to 
say she was glad her peculiar- 
ities afforded people so much 



6 A Happy Life 

amusement, and that, though 
not witty herself, she was the 
occasion of wit in others. She 
never hesitated to make fun of 
herself, and was the first to 
call attention to her blunders. 
When she did or said some 
absurd thing, she hastened to 
give a droll report of it, joining 
heartily in the laugh which fol- 
lowed. She was a rich mine of 
humorous material to a locally- 
noted raconteur, always on the 
watch to add to his large col- 
lection of anecdotes. By the 
course she pursued she often 
blunted his weapons, extracting 
the sting from many a joke, and 
taking the edge off numerous 
good stories told at her expense. 
Lack of beauty of face or fig- 



A Happy Life 



ure is sometimes a cause of real 
misery. " Dare to be ugly" is 
the injunction of an old writer 
to homely people. Some per- 
sons are so ugly that they are 
good-looking — partly, perhaps, 
through originality. But these 
are usually the kind of homely 
people who face the world with 
a frank smile and serene temper, 
instead of yielding to a shrink- 
ing sensitiveness which pres- 
ently degenerates into sulky sus- 
picion of all about them. 

An e}^e twinkling with hu- 
mor, and an intelligent, benevo- 
lent, and good-natured expres- 
sion often render very attractive 
a person devoid of beauty of 
form, feature, or complexion. 
We have known deformed peo- 



8 A Happy Life 

pie so full of faith, courage, 
trustfulness, and friendliness, so 
interested in life and sure that 
health and beauty are at the 
heart of things, that they were 
perfectly happy, and their dis- 
abilities seemed never present 
to their minds. This was not 
simply the result of the law 
that enables us to become used 
to and tolerant of almost any- 
thing, but the victory of a beau- 
tiful, strong, serene spirit over a 
body that did it grievous wrong. 
The Spectator say § that " while 
it is barbarous for others to 
rally a man for natural defects of 
body, it is extremely agreeable 
when he can himself jest and 
make merry at his imperfec- 
tions. When he can possess 



A Happy Life 



himself with such cheerfulness, 
women and children who are at 
first frighted at him will after- 
wards be as much pleased with 
him." This is stoical resigna- 
tion indeed. Jokes at one's own 
expense, under these gruesome 
circumstances, when deformed, 
twisted, and awry, for instance, 
like Scarron, could certainly not 
fail to have a bitter tang. Groans 
would be less painful to listen to 
than such sardonic merriment. 

Reasonable and innocent wit 
and humor are great sweeten- 
ers of social intercourse. It is 
doubtful whether Sidney Smith's 
suggestion by way of contrast 
that, if nothing better offered, 
man could have directed his 



io A Happy Life 

ways by plain reason and sup- 
ported his life by tasteless food, 
is true. It is probable rather 
that the human race would soon 
have withered away and disap- 
peared from the face of the 
earth if God had not given us 
"wit, and flavor, and perfume, 
and laughter to brighten the 
days of man's pilgrimage, and 
to ' charm his pained footsteps 
over the burning marl.' " 

As love is one of the ingredi- 
ents of humor, humor promotes 
tolerant and humane views of 
life. The man who has this soft- 
ening and lubricating gift helps 
to make the wheels of existence 
run smoother. His jests, also, 
like a brisk wind clearing a 
cloudy atmosphere, have brought 



A Happy Life n 

many a petty quarrel that was 
brewing to a merry end, enabling 
tense, excited, over-strained feel- 
ings to find vent in a healing 
peal of laughter, when just ready 
to relieve themselves in a burst 
of tears or a gust of passionate 
words that would have left a last- 
ing wound behind them. 

Robust health, insuring per- 
fection of the senses and of 
physical strength, causes enjoy- 
ment, which, though not the 
real thing, is a deceptive imita- 
tion of happiness. To people 
accustomed to regard the day- 
laborer's lot as hard and joyless 
it is a delightful surprise to 
watch a jolly company of stal- 
wart colored street-pavers gaily 



12 A Happy Life 

toiling as though the work were 
a pleasure, through broiling July 
days, leveling ground and spread- 
ing boiling pitch — shouting, jok- 
ing, and laughing by the hour, 
frequently bursting out melodi- 
ously into u Yo-ho, lemonade ! " 
or some other lively nonsense 
song, keeping time with great 
shovelfuls of broken stone tossed 
from their barrows with a con- 
tinuous rapidity which they who 
never saw it would deem impos- 
sible to human muscles. 

A country walk, if we have 
health and strength, is a most 
exhilarating pleasure. If the 
pedestrian adds to delight in vig- 
orous exercise and appreciation 
of scenery a fondness for natural 



A Happy Life 13 

history and botany, and goes 
forth equipped with opera-glass 
and microscope, science will dis- 
pla} 7 to him many wonders be- 
neath and in addition to the 
charming things seen by eyes 
brightened by taste and imagi- 
nation. What flocks of tuneful 
birds and nryriads of fair flow- 
ers he enjoys where the less 
instructed see only occasional 
songsters and infrequent blos- 
soms ! What rich variety, bril- 
liancy, and peculiarities of color, 
form, motion, tones, and odors 
reveal themselves to his careful 
and loving observation ! And 
then consider the wealth of 
thought, beauty, and emotion 
memory is indelibly impressing 
upon the imagination and lay- 



14 A Happy Life 

ing up for the consolation of 
u vacant or pensive moods." 
How often does there 

' ' Flash upon that inward eye 
Which is the bliss of solitude " 

the recollection of a drive down 
the main street of a New England 
village on a sweet summer even- 
ing, with Monadnock, rosy from 
base to summit, like a great pink 
cloud low on the horizon, in full 
view. Then there is the mem- 
ory of a walk up a railroad on a 
crisp, sunny autumn day, the 
embankment on either side blue 
as far as the eye could see with 
heaven's own blue of the fringed 
gentian — myriads of cerulean 
flowers " fluttering and dancing 
in the breeze. " Or one recalls 
going in early spring through 



A Happy Life 15 

an evergreen wood and brush- 
ing aside the odorous pine 
needles to inhale the fragrance 
and feast one's eyes on the pink 
and white flowers and dark 
green leaves of the trailing ar- 
butus — great masses of it. 

A later picture is a sunset 
after a storm on a boundless 
Western prairie, with neither 
mountain, nor tree, nor house 
to limit the outlook. Ruskin's 
" Modern Painters" was being 
read for the first time with youth- 
ful faith, curiosity, and enthusi- 
asm at fever heat — the artist's 
theories and moralizings illus- 
trated, if one looked up from 
the book, by all the sky tints 
and all the species of clouds, 
while the feet pressed delicate 



1 6 A Happy Life 

grasses and exquisite flowers of 
varied hue, and the moist air, 
delicious with faint odors, fanned 
the cheek. Suddenly, two per- 
fect, clearly defined rainbows, 
with a broad band of faint blue 
between, spanned the heavens. 
As this faultless double bow 
faded away, the eye sank enrap- 
tured into the soft depths of 
piled-up clouds of every shape 
and size. A sunset of indescrib- 
able magnificence filled the sky, 
which became a surging sea of 
color, from the richest and deep- 
est to the most vivid and radiant 
or delicate shades, — -purple and 
gold and crimson and white and 
blue and pink and aqua marine. 
One of two friends who stood 
overwhelmed by this splendor, 



A Happy Life 17 

could only murmur: "I never 
before saw so much of the sky; 
I never before saw the whole of 
one rainbow. I shall never for- 
get this evening.' ' 

And how often did that gran- 
deur flash upon the inward eye, 
followed by similar glimpses of 
the beauty of nature, none 
sweeter than the glorified child- 
ish recollection of another wide 
prairie, full of pungent, bitter- 
almond-scented wild plum trees 
loaded with snow-white blos- 
soms, the sun of a long, long- 
ago May day shining down on 
them from a clear blue sky. 

When out-of-town rambles 
cannot be indulged in, the next 
best thing is to read Thoreau. He 



18 A Happy Life 

brings the balmy air of May and 
the perfume of wild crab-apple 
blossoms, the brilliant light and 
splendid bloom of summer, the 
glory of autumn leaves, the 
scent of ripe apples piled up in 
orchards, the purple of asters 
and the gold of mysterious, 
frost-loving witch-hazel, the in- 
vigorating atmosphere, the pure 
diamond radiance of snow and 
ice, and the surprising animal 
and plant life of mid-winter into 
our city room. 

Probably there are few kinds 
of felicity surpassing that flow- 
ing from the love of books. 
When the enthusiastic reader 
speaks with a sort of rapture of 
the close companionship and un- 



A Happy Life 19 

ending friendship of books, the 
element of an almost human 
personality is so evident to him, 
and the contact of his mind 
with these other minds so genu- 
ine that he is not conscious of 
extravagance or exaggeration. 
He turns with ardor from the 
business or anxieties of life to 
these unfailing advisers and 
comforters — philosophers, wits, 
historians, men of action or of 
contemplation — and, absorbed 
in the record of their thoughts, 
feelings, and conduct, forgets 
for a while weariness, pain, and 
care, or learns to transmute 
them into strength, peace, and 

j°y- 

Sometimes, by means of the 
" consolations of letters and phi- 



20 A Happy Life 

losophy," people who might be 
described as involuntary her- 
mits have found life tolerable, 
or even well worth living. The 
secluded, far Western ranchman, 
passing his days in the presence 
of the sublimest natural scenery, 
and with little association with 
any but the best society, — poets, 
essayists, scientists, and the 
heroes and heroines of history 
and biography, — will go back 
to the city a more cultivated 
man than when he plunged into 
the wilderness. Recluses do not 
always fall out of line and 
become warped, eccentric, and 
hard to live with ; dwellers in 
cities, like Carlyle, sometimes 
do. The herb happiness is a 
spiritual growth and, therefore, 



A Happy Life 21 

is occasionally sprinkled over 
the most arid deserts. 

Numerous instances might be 
cited from history or biography 
of persons forced to live long in 
seclusion, and even in humilia- 
tion and suffering, though so 
many were their spiritual com- 
panions that their condition 
might after all best be described 
as social solitude with many 
compensations and consolations. 
Such persons returning to the 
world or appearing in it for the 
first time, longing for an active 
share in philanthrop3 r , business, 
literature, or society, have, to 
the surprise of all, found them- 
selves really in touch with their 
fellow- creatures. Though al- 
most like strangers from an- 



22 A Happy Life 

other planet, to whom every- 
thing is new and fresh, and hu- 
man nature a matter of eager 
interest and curiosity, the en- 
forced leisure and turning in 
upon themselves, the reading, 
meditating, and theorizing of 
years on history and current 
events, had endowed them with 
a fund of practical knowledge 
and a power of reasoning and 
unprejudiced weighing of ques- 
tions which could be made avail- 
able in action. If they accom- 
plished anything valuable, they 
knew it to be the result of a gift 
of entering, by imagination de- 
veloped by the impossibility of 
actual contact, into things out- 
side their own natures and be- 
yond the bounds of personal 



A Happy Life 23 

circumstances and environment. 
And this sympathy and compre- 
hension was the effect of a disci- 
pline of retirement, pain and 
disappointment, and apparent 
defeat. In varying degrees and 
different forms such has been 
the mental and moral history 
of not a few characters. Luther 
was for years a monk. Our 
Saviour worked at his carpenter's 
bench till he was thirty. 

"The man who, though his fights be all 
defeats, 
Still fights, has verily seen the begin- 
ning of peace." 

A firm faith in God and a cer- 
tainty of immortality, a habit of 
regarding our present phase of 
existence as the mere dawn of an 



24 A Happy Life 

endless life, make many things 
endurable that would otherwise 
fill us with despair. As far, 
even, as this world is concerned, 
it is, after all, only hope and the 
love of the impossible — that is, 
of ideals which we strive after 
but can never realize — that con- 
stitute happiness. 

We rejoice in effort and the 
anticipation of attainment, and 
while our object moves as we 
progress, and is ever just far 
enough ahead to lure us on, our 
store of blessedness is really 
richer with every failure to grasp 
it and with each apparent disap- 
pointment. It is, therefore, in 
truth, merely imaginary and 
future enjoyment that we pos- 
sess in perfection. When we 



A Happy Life 25 

get what we long for it never 
exactly answers our expecta- 
tions; our felicity is less than 
we supposed it would be. 

But then there is the con- 
solation of reflecting, as the 
Spectator says, that the hope 
of gaining a certain thing "has 
brightened many a year of life, 
enabled us to toil for its attain- 
ment with vigor and alacrity, 
to discharge with honor our 
part in society, — in short, has 
given us in reality as substantial 
happiness as human nature is 
capable of enjoying." W. H. 
Myers dwells on the thought 
that the fact may be that " man 
is not constructed for flawless 
happiness, but for moral evolu- 
tion. " Progress is the aim ; joy, 



26 A Happy Life 

if it comes, is incidental and by 
the way. 

1 ' Oh, righteous doom, that they who make 
Pleasure their only end, 
Ordering the whole life for its sake, 
Miss that whereto they tend. 

"But they who bid stern Duty lead, 
Content to follow, they 
Of Duty only taking heed, 
Find pleasure by the way." 

To many another besides the 
fragile Duke of Albany this 
passage by Myers might be 
applied: " His brief career was 
a progressive self-adjustment to 
the conditions of his lot, a grow- 
ing acceptance of duty, and not 
caprice or pleasure, as the guide 
of life. So far as he achieved 
this, he attained happiness, and 
so far as sickness and suffering 
helped him to achieve it, they 



A Happy Life 27 

were the blessings of his life. 
The prince had learned at the 
gates of death a sense of the 
reality of the Unseen which 
many theologians might envy. 
He conld scarcely understand 
the difficulty of other minds in 
attaining to a certainty like his 
own." 

There are people of such for- 
titude, of such radiance of soul, 
that the sharpest pain and life- 
long invalidism cannot make 
them permanently sad and mis- 
erable. Frequent glints of light 
from heaven pierce their dark- 
est clouds. The same temper, 
Christly in character and origin, 
sometimes enables a really heart- 
broken man or woman, after the 
one loved best has been taken, to 



28 A Happy Life 

face the duties of life bravely. 
Things of the soul and things of 
the mind are certainties to them. 
They have gone down into the 
depths of pain and bereavement 
till they have reached the im- 
mutable — the Rock of Ages. 

The sting of anxiety, poverty, 
pain, and grief is too sharp and 
triumphant to be charmed away 
by any rose-water theory of the 
victory of gladness over misery. 
The wounded heart aches and 
aches, and joy and peace, unat- 
tainable and unsought, do not 
descend with healing in their 
wings. But let us do right, 
though the heavens fall ! In this 
dire stress of soul the grim de- 
termination to hold fast to faith 



A Happy Life 29 

and duty is all that remains or 
is possible. It is the sin that 
underlies or mingles with our 
trials — as when those, for in- 
stance, who are dearly loved 
succumb to temptation — that is 
their principal root of bitterness, 
and often makes life, as far as 
this world at least is concerned, 
a seemingly hopeless tragedy. 

Grief is sometimes desecrated 
by a tumult of strife, and greed, 
and misunderstanding, which 
renders the soul deaf to conso- 
lation. If evil does not undo its 
assigned work, grief may be, in 
spite of an aching void and ever- 
present loneliness, a holy state 
in which the assurance of endless 
continuity of life and a direct- 
ness of communion with the 



30 A Happy Life 

divine source of spiritual regen- 
eration, not usual in less morally 
shut-in conditions, rout despair 
and motiveless self-absorption. 
An evil source or disposition 
turns the wholesome tonic of pov- 
erty or pain into a deadly poison. 
"I am sure," says Phillips 
Brooks, u we all know the fine, 
calm, sober humbleness of men 
who have really tried themselves 
against the great tasks of life. 
It is something that never comes 
into the character, never shows 
in the face, of a man who has 
never worked. ' ' The noblest peo- 
ple, those who have led the most 
beautiful, the most useful, and 
the happiest lives, or been suc- 
cessful in a material sense, have 
rarely been reared -in wealth, 



A Happy Life 31 

luxur3 T , and idleness; but they 
have been disciplined in a 
sterner school of labor, self-de- 
nial, and, perhaps, even of want, 
and bare of consolation, grace, 
and recreation, save that derived 
from imaginative, intellectual, 
and spiritual sources. Leisure 
and wealth have their pure and 
legitimate pleasures and advan- 
tages of travel, tasteful dress 
and surroundings, collections 
of books and works of art, and 
a culture, polish, and suavity 
not as easily attainable in other 
environments, and which, as, 
whatever his wishes, no man 
can live wholly to himself, add 
perceptibly to the common 
stock of human happiness and 
progress. 



32 A Happy Life 

A life of active philanthropy 
in organized avennes is so mor- 
ally satisfying that it might be 
defined as a happy life. Bnt 
how trying are the wearisome 
gossip and dissensions of the 
committee meeting, the disap- 
pointments in the character of 
both associates and beneficia- 
ries, the mistakes and lack of 
success in the most promising 
directions ! Guided, however, by 
the motto, " Patience, continu- 
ance, and sober enthusiasm," 
results follow that bless the 
world and fill the heart of the 
philanthropist with peace and 
serenity. 

The modern notion of happi- 
ness has probably more ele- 
ments of excitement than of 



A Happy Life 33 

quiet. Its ideal would perhaps 
be represented by a notable 
housekeeper, wife, mother, phi- 
lanthropist, and lover of good 
books, dead some time since at 
an advanced age, who, when 
friends bemoaned unfulfilled pur- 
poses, used to assert with an air 
of great satisfaction that she w^as 
so happy as always to accom- 
plish, before she slept, the day's 
work planned in the morning; 
she did it if she had to sit up 
all night to get through ! 

"I hope you are taking life 
easy this vacation, idly enjoy- 
ing every moment/' a friend 
said one brilliant summer morn- 
ing to an ambitious and success- 
ful young woman who, when re- 
leased from the arduous duties 



34 A Happy Life 

of her profession, found recrea- 
tion in change of occupation, 
and in art, study, and music. 

u Oh, I am catching up," was 
the energetic reply, in a tone that 
somehow suggested the tonic 
crispness, yet sunny warmth, of 
the atmosphere of ' ' Walden "and 
the " Excursions. " " I am doing 
odd jobs; busy at home and 
elsewhere every instant." 

" Oh, rest, rest; do rest," 
begged her friend. " Rest is a 
delightful word to me." 

u Yes, I know. It is lovely, 
but then there are so many 
nicer things," she answered. 

So many nicer things than 
rest ! That was the spirit of the 
age compressed into a nutshell. 
It is unnecessary and unwise at 



A Happy Life 35 

present to reiterate the old prov- 
erb, " Better wear out than rust 
out/' yet for most of us the se- 
cret of cheerfulness lies in exer- 
tion. 

There are men and women 
who leave no margin for cul- 
ture, rest, and recreation in their 
scheme of life. Necessary in- 
dulgences of the mind and flesh 
are submitted to under protest. 
Money-making, or labor with 
the hands, business, housekeep- 
ing, or sewing can alone se- 
cure the approval of their con- 
sciences. In the Rambler may 
be found an amusing carica- 
ture of a woman of this kind — 
Lady Bustle, a country gentle- 
woman. My Lady Bustle daily 



36 A Happy Life 

got her daughters and maids up 
at dawn, and worked with them 
from sunrise till dusk in the 
kitchen, pantry, still-house, and 
linen closet, and was perfectly 
happy and self-satisfied person- 
ally, whatever may have been 
the feelings of her young assist- 
ants. 

It was "the great business of 
her life to watch the skillet on 
the fire, and to see it simmer 
with the due degree of heat, and 
to snatch it off at the moment 
of projection; and the employ- 
ments to which she has bred 
her daughters are to turn rose- 
leaves in the shade, to pick out 
the seeds of currants with a 
quill, to gather fruit without 
bruising it, and to extract beauty 



A Happy Life 37 

flower water for the skin." Busy 
all day, and tired out at night, the 
young ladies of the family could 
not do much for the entertain- 
ment of an intelligent city girl 
who was visiting them. Thrown 
on her own resources for amuse- 
ment, she tried to find a read- 
able book, but could discover 
nothing less practical than " The 
Lady's Chest Opened," "The 
Complete Servant Maid," and 
the " Court Cook Book." Lady 
Bustle took occasion to condemn 
her guest's literal tastes. " She 
soon told me," the latter writes 
to the Rambler, " that none of 
her books would suit me; for 
her part, she never loved to see 
young women give their minds 
to such follies, by which they 



38 A Happy Life 

would only learn to use hard 
words; she bred up her daugh- 
ters to understand a house, and 
whoever should marry them, if 
they knew anything of good 
cookery, would never repent it. " 
The kitchen she regarded as the 
heart of the home. 

A noted woman past middle 
age was recalling the events of 
her busy life, and she said, ear- 
nestly and regretfully: "I long 
to spend the rest of my days in 
some quiet retreat, surrounded 
by relatives, books, and congen- 
ial friends, and devote myself to 
purely literary work, requiring 
culture, thought, and careful 
revision and polish, yet in a 
leisurely way that would afford 
time for domestic and social en- 



A Happy Life 39 

joyment. I feel that I have 
never had an opportunity to do 
the best that is in me to do. I 
have had numerous domestic 
and public claims upon my 
purse that required me to under- 
take writing that would pay; 
my children needed so many 
things, and I have had constant 
appeals outside my home to 
which heart and conscience 
refused denial. My position 
put me in the way of these 
demands for financial aid. I 
have met with reverses and dis- 
appointments. But," she con- 
tinued, with an air of enjoying 
or of having become hardened 
to labor and turmoil, "we must 
help others, or try to. We can- 
not shut our eyes and fold our 



40 A Happy Life 

hands, but must just work on to 
the end. I am so weary; but 
we are all that; we have to be." 
People in bereavement some- 
times fall into a self-indulgent 
state described as the luxury of 
grief. There is so much talk 
nowadays about overwork that 
one wonders sometimes if a cer- 
tain class, perhaps because the 
complaint that one has under- 
taken so much that one is always 
tired is considered creditable 
rather than the reverse, is not 
indulging in what might be 
called the luxury of fatigue, and 
engaging in unnecessary labor. 
There is a very different class, 
thoroughly earnest and sincere, 
who have little mercy on the 
flesh, and whose spirits seem 



A Happy Life 41 

united by the slightest filaments 
to the body. If such active peo- 
ple tried to accept as their rule of 
life the motto, " Be easy/' an old 
essayist's secret of a happy career, 
how uneasy they would be ! 

After all, when we beg over- 
worked friends whose souls are 
severe taskmasters, not to con- 
sume the candle at both ends, but 
to spread their useful lives over a 
long period of calm and leisurely 
years instead of burning out in 
a flame of love and enthusiasm 
before middle age, are we not 
thinking of our own happiness 
rather than of theirs ? We want 
to keep their strength and faith 
and hope and joy for our own 
sustenance and delectation till 
our last day, not to see it gener- 



42 A Happy Life 

ously lavished in one short burst 
of passionate self-sacrifice on 
humanity as a whole. 

But in such glowing self-for- 
getfulness is that settled, under- 
lying quiet of the mind that 
characterizes elect spirits. This 
is the secret of their cheerful 
serenity, still enthusiasm, and 
sanguine and almost seerlike 
hope — a faith in the future that 
sees and greets and embraces 
afar off the perfected ideal man 
and woman. From the very 
moment of the inception of a 
society or institution they have 
the comfort of seeing its history 
in the lines of the broadest and 
most satisfactory progress spread 
before them, no detail lacking. 
They are so sure of ultimate sue- 



A Happy Life 43 

cess that their patience, good na- 
ture, charity, and magnanimity 
are boundless. They can afford 
to wait. There is, to quote Ad- 
dison, " something friendly in 
their behaviour that conciliates 
men's minds. " Their enthusi- 
asm is contagious. Helping 
hands and pecuniary assistance 
for their labors of love come to 
them just at the time of greatest 
stress. Quietness and repose 
characterize them. Their own 
joy is the cause of joy in others. 
We are reminded when with 
them of that sentence of the 
Spectator, " In the first ages of 
the world men shined by a noble 
simplicity of behaviour. M Such 
characters are less rare than we 
sometimes believe. 



44 A Happy Life 

No enjoyment surpasses that 
derived from the creative exer- 
cise of the reasoning and imag- 
inative faculties. People who 
are absorbed in art, music, liter- 
ature, science, discoveries, or in- 
ventions, are often while at 
work lifted far above the depri- 
vations and anxieties about prac- 
tical affairs which usually fall 
to the lot of those engaged in 
pursuits which are not, as a rule, 
valued at a high rate financially. 
Sometimes, to be sure, when the 
purse and the flour barrel are 
empty and reputation eludes 
their grasp, they descend into 
measureless depths of gloom, 
but the artistic or scientific 
temperament enables them to 
spend most of their days in bliss. 



A Happy Life 45 

The noble literary artist, 
Valdes, says truthfully: "It is 
inherent in our nature that we 
should wish our powers to suc- 
ceed, that is, show an external 
result; but the true artist does 
not cease to work if he fails to 
obtain it, because what he loves 
above all is his own activity. 
This is what gives the liveliest 
and purest delight. Therefore, 
the most humble artist may be 
as happy as the greatest." 

The man or woman of sup- 
posedly ideal aims is sometimes 
as world-battered and burnt out 
with passion, sensationalism, 
and feverish excitement as the 
devotee of fashion and amuse- 
ment, or the operator on the 



46 A Happy Life 

Wall Street stock exchange. In 
this age of hurry-scurry and 
bustle and of unceasing scram- 
ble, not only for wealth, power, 
and pleasure, but we might al- 
most say for piety and learning ; 
when benevolence is often a dis- * 
sipation, and an author's quest 
for fame a species of gambling, 
there is something soothing to 
the mind wearied and unsettled 
by the prevailing lack of quiet 
and rest, in turning to descrip- 
tions in once popular essays and 
biographies of old-fashioned the- 
ories of happiness. 

The eighteenth century essay- 
ists loved to eulogize men who 
could be tranquil and happy 
this side of the grave in spite of 
all the Latin and Greek scraps 



A Happy Life 47 

to the contrary. They extolled 
a voluntary and cheerful quiet 
and seclusion and expatiated on 
the delights of lettered ease, 
learning pursued for learning's 
sake, cottages in walled-in gar- 
dens, or strolls in shady, out-of- 
the-way London nooks, far from 
the haunts of trade and dissipa- 
tion. Their ideal was an equa- 
nimity and regularity of spirit 
which was a little above cheer- 
fulness and below mirth. " In- 
dolence of body and mind," the 
Spectator says, " when we aim at 
no more, is very frequently en- 
joyed, but the very inquiry after 
happiness has something rest- 
less in it which a man who lives 
in a series of temperate meals, 
friendly conversations, and easy 



48 A Happy Life 

slumbers gives himself no trou- 
ble about. While men of refine- 
ment are talking of tranquillity, 
he possesses it." 

There are delicious pictures 
in the British classics of sweet 
domestic retirement, in which 
books, a garden, a simple though 
sufficient table, and the compan- 
ionship of husband, wife, and 
children, rendering all luxuries, 
change of scene, or additional 
society unnecessary, make other 
forms of existence seem almost 
worthless. There is no more 
exquisite description in litera- 
ture of plain living and high 
thinking than the account in the 
sixteenth essay of the "World" 
of the rector of South Green 



A Happy Life 49 

and his honest wife, who, after 
a youth of literary and social 
prominence at the university 
and in London, had settled down 
contentedly for life in an out-of- 
the-way country parish. 

"You know," the essayist 
says, " with what compassion we 
used to think of them ; that a 
man who had mixed a good deal 
with the world, and who had 
always entertained hopes of mak- 
ing a figure in it, should foolishly 
and at an age when people gen- 
erally grow wise, throw away 
his affections upon a girl worth 
nothing ; and that she, one of 
the liveliest of women, as well 
as the finest, should refuse the 
most advantageous offers which 
were made her, and follow a poor 



5<d A Happy Life 

parson to his living of fifty 
pounds a year in a remote corner 
of the kingdom. But I have 
learned from experience that we 
have been pitying the happiest 
of our acquaintance. . . . Their 
favorite amusement is reading ; 
now and then, indeed, our friend 
scribbles a little, but his per- 
formances reach no farther than 
a short sermon or paper of verses 
in praise of his wife. Every 
birthday of the lady is constantly 
celebrated in this manner; and 
though you do not read a Swift 
to his Stella, yet there is some- 
thing so sincere and tender in 
these little pieces that I could 
never read any of them without 
tears. In the fine afternoons 
and evenings they are walking 



A Happy Life 51 

arm in arm with, their boy and 
girl about their ground, but 
how cheerful, how happy, is not 
to be told you. Their children 
(the prettiest little things that 
ever were) are hardly so much 
children as themselves." 

A woman is never happier 
than when engaged in home- 
making — housekeeping, sewing, 
making things comfortable and 
pleasant for husband and chil- 
dren, and so occupied with her 
family that she cannot become 
self-centered. The heart at lei- 
sure from itself is the happy 
heart — " expectant, grateful, and 
serenely acquiescent." Envi- 
ronment can destroy happiness, 
but it cannot create it. It is 
what we put into life, not what 



52 A Happy Life 

we find there through inherit- 
ance or fortunate circumstances, 
that insures peace and satisfac- 
tion. The Guardian gives a 
pleasant sketch of an incident 
in old-time English country life, 
which is an illustration of the 
truth that contentment and an 
interest in the higher things of 
life are as truly the secret of 
happiness in a well-to-do country 
gentleman's family as in a poor 
parson's, rectory. 

" The excellent lady, the Lady 
Lizard," says the Guardian, "in 
the space of one summer fur- 
nished a gallery with chairs and 
couches of her own and her 
daughters' working, and at the 
same time heard all ■ De Tillot- 
son's Sermons ' twice over. It 



A Happy Life 53 

is always the custom for one of 
the young ladies to read while 
the others work ; so that the 
learning of the family is not at 
all prejudicial to its manufac- 
tures. I was mightily pleased 
the other day to find them all 
busy in preserving several fruits 
of the season, with the Sparkler 
( Miss Lizard ) in the midst of 
them reading over the i Plurality 
of Worlds.' It was entertaining 
to me to see them dividing their 
speculations between the jellies 
and stars, and making a sudden 
transition from the sun to an 
apricot or from the Copernican 
system to the figure of a cheese 
cake." The innocent domestic 
and social gossip of Lady Liz- 
ard's tea-table was varied some- 



54 A Happy Life 

times by intelligent discussion 
of a new play or book. And 
Mary Lizard, whose pet name, 
the " Sparkler/' was very appro- 
priate for a girl who was u the 
quintessence of good nature and 
generosity/' and bubbling over 
with fun and laughter, and her 
sister Cornelia, who had the air 
of a student, did not confine 
their reading to divinity and 
astronomy, but were often found 
curled up in the parlor window- 
seat or hidden away in their 
chambers, rapturously devouring 
a poem or romance ; and the 
" Sparkler/' once in her life at 
least, wrote a bright little 
critical letter to the Guardian 
on Addison's famous play of 
Cato. 



A Happy Life 55 

Men and women thoroughly 
united in heart and mind, rejoic- 
ing in their own present and 
living also in the future of their 
children, cannot always under- 
stand the restlessness which 
renders women having no such 
ties impatient to forsake the 
quiet seclusion, comprehension, 
and affectionate consideration of 
the domestic circle for the bus- 
tling activities of the cold, un- 
friendly, outer world. But an 
aimless, inane existence, with an 
outlook on years becoming more 
and more humdrum and unpro- 
gressive and useless to others 
as the months pass, is not con- 
ducive to contentment. They 
seem to be superfluous beings. 
This is partly the secret of the 



56 A Happy Life 



attraction — though there are less 
selfish reasons — that superior 
characters often feel in college 
settlements, professional and 
philanthropic employments, or 
more self-centered occupations, 
which, as they are permanent 
and salaried and no favor is 
shown, are free from the taint of 
amateurishness. 

Individuals should certainly 
develop in the line of their 
tastes and aptitudes, fulfilling 
their inborn personality. This 
course, though sometimes at 
first seeming to conflict with the 
peace of others, is usually in 
the end best for all concerned. 
There is an exaggerated self- 
sacrifice which has nothing to 
recommend it and which might 



A Happy Life 57 

almost be described as moral 
suicide. Yet there may be 
cases where there is more disci- 
pline for happiness, if that were 
all involved, in submitting for 
love's sake to an apparently idle 
and useless life, than in going 
forth to find the career for which 
one seems destined — departing 
in search of fame or fortune, or 
even to serve poor, sick, and 
grief-laden strangers. As a rule, 
He " setteth the solitary in fam- 
ilies,'' that the\- may bless and 
be blessed. Phillips Brooks 
called happiness the flower of 
duty. 

But Providence does not limit 
the possibilities of happiness. 
The nineteenth century has so 
greath^ increased the interests 



58 A Happy Life 

and enjoyments of women and 
enlarged their opportunities of 
culture, remunerative occupa- 
tion, and disinterested labors for 
their fellow-creatures, that it 
is difficult to imagine a more 
delightful lot than that of a 
sensible, cultivated, energetic, 
conscientious, warm-hearted, un- 
married woman, with all her fac- 
ulties in working order and 
under perfect control, and with 
the power to plan and carry out 
successfully to the end the kind 
of existence that is most con- 
genial and morally satisfactory 
to her. She will not suffer from 
the lack of people to love and 
serve. 

There are a few people who 



A Happy Life 59 

might be called natural joy- 
bearers, though they do nothing 
that is large enough to be known 
outside of their own town or 
neighborhood. They seem to 
have been born with hearts over- 
flowing with generous impulses. 
Their kindness has the air of 
being spontaneous and not mere- 
ly the result of a sense of duty. 
They have a genius for doing 
kind little acts in the most mat- 
ter-of-course way and with a 
delicacy and simplicity which 
render receiving from them 
pleasurable instead of burden- 
some. They are on the watch 
for opportunities to encourage, 
cheer, express appreciation, and 
pay grateful little attentions. 
They realize so fully the bless- 



60 A Happy Life 

edness of giving, that it would 
seem to them almost selfish not 
to allow others to share this 
happiness. So when they plan 
some pleasant or helpful surprise, 
they do not, as a rule, carry it 
out alone, but gladly, if possible, 
divide the enjoyment the friendly 
deed affords them. Good nature, 
truth, discretion, sincerity, equa- 
bility, evenness of disposition, 
and pleasantness of temper — all, 
according to the old moralists, 
prime elements of happiness — 
are not found in the morose and 
suspicious person w T ho is the 
victim of ennui, or, as Queen 
Anne's people would have said, 
of spleen. 

Pleasing our neighbor for his 



A Happy Life 61 

good to edification is one of the 
dnties inculcated in the New 
Testament, and partly means, 
perhaps, keeping him good- 
humored and contented and 
pleased with himself, thus re- 
moving excuses for irritation, 
fretfulness, and grumbling. 
Tact is a requisite of this gift 
of pleasing. Amiel says, " Kind- 
ness is the principle of tact and 
respect for others ; the first con- 
dition of savoir vivre" 

The nice perception of the 
tastes, moods, and whims of 
others, the ready power of doing 
what is required by circumstan- 
ces, of pouring oil on wounded 
sensibilities, of bringing peace 
out of discord, of gliding lightly 
over dangerous places, of quickly 



62 A Happy Life 

and adroitly changing conversa- 
tion which has taken an unfor- 
tunate direction, of smiling when 
the head and heart ache, of man- 
aging others for their own good, 
are by many men considered 
special feminine endowments, 
and a failure to answer expec- 
tations in these directions seems 
to them almost unnatural or un- 
womanly. The managing wom- 
an is the butt of the satirist. 
Is there a good sense in which 
the managing woman is a bless- 
ing rather than a torment? 

"If," says the Guardian, "we 
could look into the secret an- 
guish and affliction of every 
man's heart, we should often 
find that more of it arises from 
little imaginary distresses, such 



A Happy Life 63 

as checks, frowns, contradic- 
tions, expressions of contempt, 
than from the more real pains 
and calamities of life." The 
only remedy for these distresses, 
according to the same writer and 
his fellow-essayists, is compla- 
cency or a constant endeavor to 
please those we converse with 
as far as w r e may do it inno- 
cently. 

Good manners reqnire that 
when in company we should 
look on the bright side of life, 
and u the best-bred person is of 
this temper," says an eighteenth 
century author. There are per- 
sons whom nothing suits. With 
them it is always too cold or too 
hot ; they are more prone to 



64 A Happy Life 

discern defects than merits in a 
book or work of art, and have a 
keen scent for the faults of their 
friends. Their chief topics of 
conversation are their own ill 
health or domestic misfortunes 
or mishaps. They consider 
their trials greater than any one 
else ever had to bear. These 
self-pitiers demand the sympa- 
thy and unwearied attention of 
unfortunate friends, but will not 
themselves listen with the slight- 
est patience or interest to the 
sorrowful confidences of others. 
The Guardian describes hap- 
piness as content and strength 
of mind; but goes on to say 
that Varro records two hundred 
and eighty-eight definitions of 
this blessed state, and Lucian 



A Happy Life 65 

an equally long list, and that the 
latter endeavors to show the ab- 
surdity of them all without sub- 
stituting any opinion of his own. 
In fact, happiness is a rose 
snatched from among thorns. 
The Spectator wisely says that 
people receive more of their 
happiness at second-hand by re- 
bound from others than by direct 
and immediate sensation. When 
men and women go out into the 
world with this conviction, how 
much joy awaits them ! They 
do not know from experience the 
meaning of that detestable little 
word "bore." If others are 
happy and pleased and absorbed 
in their own affairs to such a de- 
gree that their interest and sat- 
isfaction run over in too great 



66 A Happy Life 

a stream of words, by entering 
sympathetically into this effu- 
siveness and judging it from its 
best and not from its unloveliest 
or ridiculous point of view, they 
presently find themselves sharing 
instead of being wearied by it. 

It is a poor philosophy of life 
to set up some cast-iron standard 
of motive and character, and to 
feel no interest in anything that 
does not conform to it. Nearly 
every person or thing, however 
unpromising at first, has some 
good and agreeable quality if 
we look out for it and do not 
expect too much. 

The reader with an omnivo- 
rous taste for books has all lit- 
erature to range over and is con- 



A Happy Life 67 

fined to no restricted field, though 
he has his favorites and does not 
love all authors equally well. 
Perhaps one step towards the in- 
crease of happiness would be 
the cultivation of an omnivorous 
taste for human nature, which 
need not preclude discrimination 
and choice. Even if it were de- 
sirable, it is impossible to have 
more than a few friends. But 
we may be sufficiently interested 
in those outside this necessarily 
contracted circle to listen with 
sympathy which has no element 
of insincerity to conversation 
which carries us into emotional, 
intellectual, and practical expe- 
riences hitherto unknown to us. 
The wild flavor of Bohemian- 
ism, the confidences of gypsies, 



68 A Happy Life 

tramps, street Arabs, and dwellers 
in the teeming slums of large 
cities has sometimes a pictur- 
esque charm for men of decorous 
lives. They listen with the im- 
agination rather than with the 
critical and moral faculties at 
the helm. Taste and creed and 
culture may protest ; it is a 
common humanity that draws 
them together. Then follows an 
impulse to raise these submerged 
classes to a higher level. Nov- 
elists who use for purely artistic 
purposes material gathered by 
themselves and others during 
visits made merely for amuse- 
ment, or out of curiosity, to 
tenement-house neighborhoods, 
gradually create a practical pub- 
lic interest in lowly victims of 



A Happy Life 69 

circumstances which is not con- 
tent with sentimentalism or art 
as an end, but can obtain peace 
only in an effort to relieve the 
misery painted with harrowing 
effect in literature. There are 
many men and women of the 
present day who find in such 
labors their chief happiness. 

Every one is apt to converse 
best on his specialty. There is 
no more genuine and innocent 
source of enjoyment than good 
talk. The scholar, artist, states- 
man, or man of leisure listens 
entranced to the clear, vivid, 
earnest talk of the machinist or 
mechanic; to his intelligent de- 
scriptions of engines and tools ; 
to the graphic accounts which 



jo A Happy Life 

other salaried or wage-earning 
people, men and women, give of 
their labors, trials, and pleas- 
ures ; to the large plans and ac- 
complishments of manufacturers 
and merchants. The enjoyment 
of such chats, their novelty and 
freshness of view, is reciprocal. 
The disposition that unites, and 
not that which divides, — com- 
prehension and a living interest 
in others, — is a promoter of both 
happiness and goodness. 

There are few greater sources 
of pleasure than the love of little 
children, with their angel inno- 
cence ; their wide-eyed wonder 
at this strange, beautiful, un- 
known world ; their undoubting 
trust, hope, and faith; their 



A Happy Life 71 

certainty of love and welcome, 
which wins what they take for 
granted ; their gradual unfold- 
ing of mind and heart, and 
growth in grace, knowledge, 
and character. One part of 
their charm and restfulness con- 
sists in the fact that their feet 
are not yet wet with the sea of 
trouble that awaits all earthly 
pilgrims. With the exception 
of the children, the people in 
whom the power of radiating 
happiness dwells are not those 
who have been kept from sorrow, 
want, and pain, but those blessed 
with a well-disciplined soul. 
And in the ranks of these com- 
forters of mankind are not only 
the mature and aged, but some 
who are " young, but in spirit 



72 A Happy Life 

not untrained by trouble." De- 
metrius said that nothing was 
unhappier than a man that had 
never known affliction. 

We can, if we try hard enough, 
get nearly as much suffering out 
of trifles not worth considering 
as Christian martyrs or heroes 
of Greek tragedy endured. Tri- 
fles have power to rout as well 
as to bring on the blues. A 
bird's song, a bunch of violets, 
a merry-hearted friend's jest or 
laugh, a glance into a tree in 
full leaf, or up into the June 
sky, or down on a garden where 
the grass is smooth and green 
and flowers are blooming, has 
occasionally brought a day that 
dawned in gloom to a cheerful 



A Happy Life 73 

close. Amusing reading, inno- 
cent gossip, concerts, novels, 
games, and outdoor exercise are 
sometimes veritable means of 
grace, not only warding off fits 
of ill temper, but making people 
positively amiable for the time 
being — a result which may rea- 
sonably be set down as a gain on 
the side of morality. 

The Rambler, speaking of the 
old Greeks, says that while their 
morality, as a whole, is not to be 
commended, their habit of look- 
ing on the bright side and mak- 
ing the best of things is worth 
imitating. Symonds describes 
them as keenly feeling disaster, 
disease, and all the ills that flesh 
i5 heir to, but with souls strong 



74 A Happy Life 

to rise above these vapors of the 
earth into a clear atmosphere ; 
able to turn to good account 
all fair and wholesome things 
beneath the sun and possess 
themselves in patience and joy; 
facing the evils of the world 
with tranquil and manly spirit, 
striving after well-ordered con- 
duct, yet taking their frugal 
share of the delightful things 
of earth. "The moral progress 
of the race depends on holding 
with a firm grasp what the 
Greeks have hardly appreciated. 
We ought still to emulate their 
spirit by cheerfully accepting 
the world as we find it." Is not 
this in the vein of Christ 's par- 
able of the fowls of the air and 
the lilies of the field, and of 



A Happy Life 75 

his saying, " Take therefore no 
thought for the morrow : for the 
morrow shall take thought for 
the things of itself "? Few of 
us live in this spirit. More 
often 

"We with misfortunes 'gainst ourselves 
take part, 
And our miseries increase by art." 

There is alleviation, though 
not healing, to be derived from 
Greek serenity and minor phi- 
losophies and moralities and the 
conventional courtesies of soci- 
ety, and a genial and optimistic 
mental attitude helps us to face 
the world with fortitude and 
cheerfulness. But we all know 
that a stronger foundation than 
this is needed for abiding hap- 
piness, so heavy is the burden 



76 A Happy Life 

of adversity which human souls 
are obliged to support. And we 
must repeat what has already 
been emphasized, that a life hid 
with Christ in God, a life of 
self-forgetful devotion to others, 
whether the tie that binds us to 
them be relationship and per- 
sonal friendship or simply the 
bond of a common humanity, is 
alone the happy life. 



